The times are changing. In the past, the workplace was a place where a great number of people worked together towards a common goal, where everybody knew their positions and their assignments, and together worked to improve and upgrade each others’ knowledge and skills, in addition to contributing to upstanding reputation of the firm and its upper management and employees.

Even though nowadays the same premise still exists and is strived towards, there is an interesting occurrence that is becoming more and more prominent. That occurrence is affairs between a boss and an employee.

There are many things that are linked with an affair in the workplace, some good, but most are not so good.

In further writing of the text, you will find more about the occurrence and prevalence of workplace affairs, what are the possible advantages and disadvantages of an affair between a boss or a member of an upper management team and an employee, and what to do if you are somehow linked in such workplace affair in any way, either being involved as a direct participant of an affair or a mere observer of one.


In the past, affairs or relationships between colleagues or employees who work in the same company were not popular or encouraged, due to the simple fact of the possible impact on the work and successes of the projects that it might have.

Nowadays, with the rise of more modern and forward-thinking companies, it is simply something that is not frowned upon, as long as both participants are aware that it should not have an impact on their work.

In a nutshell, the majority of employees who are approached at work, in an affair sense, are of the female gender, mostly approached by their male colleagues.

According to a research conducted by a site, who has extensively researched the same topic, they came to a conclusion that the majority of the women employees have been hit on by their male counterparts, the number being around 35 percent, while only 9 percent of the female employees have been wooed by a member of the upper management of the company that they both work for, while 28 percent of the female workers have never been approached in such a suggestive way by neither a male colleague nor a male boss or an upper management member.

Interesting is the fact that, when comparing female statistics to male colleagues, the male employees are also being approached by female employees in a suggestive manner, although it is less than a quarter of cases when compared to the women’s higher number of 35 percent.

Another interesting fact is that the number of male workers who have never bit hit on by neither a manager nor an employee is 25 percent, which is almost as the number of female employees who have never been in that situation.



Additionally, it is said that the industries where the number of affairs or the percentage of acceptance of an office affair is the highest are the construction industries, and hospitality industries, such as hotels.

To clarify, these industries were mostly open to an affair with their bosses or employees, not that it actually happened or is encouraged to happen, with the construction industries being a tiny bit over the 50 percent mark, while the hospitality industries being a tad bit under the 50 percent mark.

Another interesting piece of information is the number of employees who have at one time done the deed of sleeping with their boss or a superior position colleague. Have in mind though that the number is not as big as you expected.

In fact, the number of female employees who have had sex with their superior officers is 27 percent, while the percentage of the male employees who have had sex with their bosses or members of upper management is 28 percent.

One of the main reasons that might explain the occurrence of female employees being a percent short than their male counterparts in having had intercourse with their bosses is the existence of the sexual harassment laws where the most perpetrators are of the male gender.

The possible reason that fewer male employees have had sexual intercourse with their female bosses is that they are afraid of the possible repercussions of having a sexual harassment suit slapped across their faces.

There have been a number of cases of lawsuits against various male perpetrators who were at a high position in history, some of them were resolved out of court, while some cases were resolved against both the perpetrator and the victim.

Sexual harassment is a whole another monster that will not be tackled in this text, however, if you would like to learn more about the sexual harassment at the workplace, its plethora of negative aspects, and the ways of combating sexual harassment at a workplace, give this article a thorough read, as it is filled with valuable information that is sure to be of use.

Now, one of the most conflicting things is the difference between flirting and friendly compliments. Even though there is a thin line that divides these two items, it certainly happens in the workplace.

According to the research, the most widespread is the notion of joking and flirting. Most of the time, bosses would use this kind of talk to show their affection towards and employee.

Even though it might only be in a joking manner, sometimes it is a clear indication of affection, especially if the comments are not based or linked to the performance of the employee.

If it is not a comment about their performance on a particular project or a similar endeavor, then it is most likely a sign of affection.

As seen in the picture, close to 55 percent of the employees who have had sexual intercourse with their employer or a member of upper management have reported that they had been approached with a flirtation or consistently joking remarks.

Jokes are often seen and used as a mechanism that enhances flirtation attempts. There is a lot to learn about which jokes one can use in order to successfully flirt with someone and how to approach to flirting with jokes, which is why it is often used in the workplace, as well.

The fact that it can be put aside or shrugged off just as a silly joke if the advancement fails, is the ultimate safety net used in the workplace.

Another way actions that are commonly seen as advances are social invitations after work hours. These are the second most common ways that happen, especially to female employees.

The reason behind this approach is that the brain is constructed to link the work persona to work, and perceives that it should be alright for a boss to invite their employee to a drink after work, as it is seen as an event not linked to work, which can be only seen as an advancement.

Other interesting actions that appear on the list are mostly physical ones, such as the body language of the boss, and the physical contact between the boss and the employee, even though the risk of it being classified as a sexual harassment is particularly high nowadays, it is still at the near top of the list.



At this point, you might be wondering what are the repercussions of the affairs in a workplace, with an employee and a boss as the main actors.

What happens after the affair? If the numbers tell the truth, the majority of situations are mostly either positive or remain a status quo, in a way.

The top outcome after an affair with their boss is that the relationship is, in a way, held together by the both of them, clocking at the 40 percent mark.

The negative aspects are mostly held at below 10 percent of the whole sum of surveyed people who have had an experience in affairs in a workplace, the aspects being the Human Resources department getting involved, blackmailing of one party by the other, or receiving a demotion.

The top position being, as previously mentioned, the maintenance of the affair, the second spot is similar to the first, it is a start of an intimate relationship, being an answer to 25 percent of all surveyed people, and 16 percent of the people answered that nothing changed or neither negative nor positive happened to the both of them.

All in all, affairs do happen and, according to this research, are a bit widespread more than one can expect. However, there are a lot of negatives that can happen to one or both the employee and the boss, as a result of being involved in a workplace affair.


We have covered in this text the experiences of some people who have had affairs with their bosses or upper management members in the past, and the various outcomes they have experienced as a result of being involved in such a delicate matter. In this part of the text, the negative experiences will be covered in depth.

One of the most obvious disadvantages that might surface is the deteriorating of the working atmosphere in the workplace, due to the affair.

Some colleagues might see that move as an attempt to move up the corporate ladder, and try to undermine your future work ethics and attempts to cooperatively work through joint projects. A handful of colleagues might report the conduct to the Human Resources department and get you in unnecessary trouble.

Additionally, they might see your every assignment as preferential treatment from your boss, angering them and fueling their hate towards you. You could also lose the trust of a good number of your colleagues, even maybe lose some of them as friends.

It can basically become a hugely intense atmosphere for you to work in, in the future. You might disrupt them in an additional way, as in you not finishing your predetermined assignments in time, so it might fall on them to finish up after you, making them dislike you for picking up your slack.

Some of your colleagues might even use this piece of information against you or your boss to gain something. It is a huge slippery slope that you should carefully tread on.

According to Jennifer Freed, a family and marriage counselor, and a few examples, these kinds of relationships between bosses and employees would mostly work in one and only case, and that case is that the relationship should be treated as a public one by both the employee and their boss.

According to the examples from the article, sometimes these kinds of relationships can work, however, in other cases, they do not.

One example shows that the employer has been flirting with his employee over the course of the whole hiring interview, only to later go out and become an item, after hiring. It is a secret kept from the people working at their company, but she believes that they will eventually get married.

This might be a positive example, but whether it will end well, this will only be told by the passage of time.

Other examples from the same article are mostly from remorseful women, who got into the relationship by chance, either through being inebriated or not thinking straight out of any other reason.

Most of them would not recommend to others to repeat what they have done, for various reasons, varying from the boss being a womanizer to the inability to remain in a relationship that, in their opinion, is impossible to be a public one.

All in all, it is the company and its projects that will suffer in these situations.

These kinds of situations cause a sense of discomfort and awkwardness, which will negatively impact any project that you both are currently working on.

If you wish to read more about other examples of women and how they felt during an affair with their bosses, here is an interesting article that you should give a read.

Another huge disadvantage is that you might put your job in jeopardy. If the relationship is not set on a good or acceptable path, not only will you see your boss every day but also might be fired, if your boss feels that he has been hurt in any way.

Not only that, if the boss feels like it, he or she might give you the worst and the most impossible tasks, which will make your work life a living hell.

If the romance goes south, have in mind that you might have just made your life at work a lot worse, in the sense of aforementioned bad assignments, in addition to terrible work hours, and quite possibly, the loss of your position or job.

Another important issue is that you might put your career in risk in another way.

If you get involved with your boss, the word might spread and in the case of changing jobs, that can be a difficult obstacle to jump over, an immovable hurdle that will always be there to haunt and prevent you in finding a suitable job or advancing in your current career path.

Having yourself branded by the whole work community and their network of people is an extremely grand issue that will most definitely present itself as a problem, should you consider changing companies or even simply climb the corporate ladder.

In addition to that, another aspect that has been proved to be a disadvantage that an affair with your boss brings to the table is the fact that you are simply wasting time.

At the beginning of the affair, the two of the culprits will probably be thinking of each other, especially if the two of them are enamored with each other.

The gazes and looks shared, your thoughts of whether you will see each other after work today, tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow, all that is shifting your focus away from the projects and assignments, wasting precious work hours of limited time on the trivial things, which will cause productivity and performance to suffer.

The last thing that can become a problem is sexual harassment claims. These claims can become a lawsuit and lawsuits can hurt the company’s reputation, and injure it in a wide array of financial ways.

Not to mention the reputations of either the worker or the boss, as the discrimination claims can be issued to both men and women, regardless of the rank, gender, or the explanation of who came on to whom first.

Positives of a workplace relationship are minor when compared to the possible risks of the huge negatives that might suddenly drop on you.

All in all, affairs in the workplace are a complicated matter, indeed but an affair with your boss might become even more complicated than initially thought of, so be extremely careful if or when it comes to that.


Well, here there are a few things to consider. If you are either a boss or an employee who is directly involved in an affair, then there are a few things you should consider. If you are either one of the two involved, simply be careful.

Even if you see a hint that a boss or an employee would like to have an affair with you, be wary of the true intentions. Maybe it is just a burst of sudden feelings that are just passing through you for a couple of days.

Inspect your feelings, and be especially careful and avoid being used in any way. Have in mind that everything might turn bad, really quickly and suddenly, and that it just is not worth the risk.

If you are already in this kind of relationship, be amazingly careful, mishandling of a situation like that might be risking both your relationship and career.

The best course of action is to simply avoid having a relationship with a subordinate or a superior person in your office, the reasons have been mentioned throughout the whole text.

All in all, if you are in such a relationship, see that you end it carefully, as long as the two of you share the same office, and if you are thinking about having an affair with your boss or your employee, take a deep breath and just say “no” to yourself.

Having said that, if you are a mere observer of a boss and an employee having an affair in an office you all share, you might be getting some ideas in your head.

Now, have in mind that it all depends on your position at the company that this situation is happening. It is much easier if you are the boss of the two people that are having an affair, as you can simply talk to them and assess their work performance. As long as it does not affect their work ethics and results, you are probably happy for both the success of the projects and the two workers who got to know each other through your company. You should not condemn relationship, if it affects their work, simply point out that it is affecting their performance, and that is it.

However, if you are, simply, a colleague, who has witnessed or known for an affair between a boss and a worker, then the thing you should most definitely avoid doing is to take advantage of it.

There is a percentage of people who would or had tried to blackmail both the boss and the colleague in order to get something out of it, whether it be a raise, sicker or vacation days, and similar things that might suit them. Another thing that you should avoid is playing a Good Samaritan and try to break up the relationship.

No matter how well introduced you are to their situation, you should not go between them and stop their affair. The only thing that you can think about doing is talk with your colleague, but only if you are good friends with them.

However, do not talk to them in the sense of breaking the affair, but simply say to them that it might be a bad idea, tell them about the possibility of the relationship not working out, and the possibility of the relationship deteriorating the work atmosphere.

Always have in mind that you should not break the affair in their stead, but present them with the possible disadvantages that such a relationship might bring to the office and all its workers, the choice of whether the employee should end the relationship or continue to nurture it should be entirely on the employee, and that is it.

All in all, as long as you as a worker are not affected by an affair between your colleague and your boss, you should not concern yourself with the said affair.

The moment the office starts to suffer in any way, and the two of the affair participants are not doing anything to improve it, that is the time to at least talk to the employee and try to mend the newly found situation in the office.

Also, before committing any action, always consult with your colleagues and make it a team effort, just in case some of your colleagues have a better suggestion or knows the colleague in affair better than you because their words will have more weight and provide a better impact on the conversation with the employee in the affair.


In conclusion, affairs between a boss and an employee are common nowadays. There has been an increasing number of people who have, at least, been close to someone who has had a secret relationship with their boss, let alone have been involved directly with their boss or employee.

Even though being common, there are a lot of negative things that those kinds of relationships bring to the table, particularly to the office it happens in.

The positive things are there, but the main problem with them is that they are not good for the collective, but only for the individual, and the advantages are too much far in between to be counted as worthy due to the number of disadvantages that are prone to happen.

There were many examples of employees who have opted for having an affair with their boss, and, admittedly, some of them have a happy, fairy-tale ending, the majority of them are more of a cautionary tale than a simple, little fairy-tale that ends with “and they lived happily ever after”.

The existence of affairs in a workplace has given birth to many relationships that have resulted in happy marriages, but affairs between a member of the upper management or a boss and an employee are rarely a good sign that brings peace and happiness to both the new relationship and the office and its work atmosphere.

Sleeping with the Boss Affairs, Love & Sex in Numbers

Comments are closed.